I don't know what came over me these last few days, I just didn't care anymore. Now that I will be entering the black girl weight loss blogs and party world sans drugs of any kind, I expect that I will experience a transition period. Because everybody knows that dancing on clouds alone is boring! I went back to the gym today and I am really trying to get these 4 liters of water in. October 28th, Debunking The MythsMy Journey 3 Comments I learned a quick and dirty lesson—well, five of 'em—about not only depression, but the way we talk and think about it.
I recently posted a rant on how it feels to give up every ambrosia of the Gods: Sugar, flour, starches, in ALL ITS FORMS- Whole or ground, natural or artificial. One-bite will never be enough and a thousand bites will never be too much. Since I was 19, I have been an avid and proud partaker in pot smoking. I have heralded it as the perfect party drug, touting it as having greater performance than alcohol and without the risk of killing someone in a car accident and safer than meth or ecstasy.
Just to put it out there, I have experimented much. Clearly, judgement is not an issue here. Perhaps this is a part of the aging process, or maybe I have simply maxed out my lifetime quota of allowed marijuana use early. I have owed a 5 piped hookah, a glass bong and a pipe make out of an antler. But every day, multiple times day, for years on end without pause? My use was sporadic. Sometimes I would go many months without touching the stuff. One of my favorite stories of being stoned was when I hung a wig on a light bulb in my closet, WHILE THE LIGHT WAS ON!
I was sitting in the living room smoking with a friend, and we could not stop coughing. We chalked it up to it being really good stuff when we gkrl that while we were smoking a lot, there was no way all the smoke surrounding us could be coming from us. As bolgs coughing nearly led us to go outside, I peered at the closet and smoke non weed of course was sifting through cracks of the door! I opened it to find a melted mess of synthetic hair that had melted down the bulb and onto the floor.
My friend and I still laugh about the incident to this day. Yes, I have had many good times with reefer, but I am not one to front. I have also had some not-too-good times as well. I have had a few panic attacks, and episodes of wild paranoia. However, those incidents were so infrequent that the good times outshined them, until recently. In addition to the fact that I get horrible munchies that are nearly impossible bladk control, they are now accompanied by new symptoms such as: Headaches, agitation, mood swings, fatigue, and depression.
Once a month, I will smoke. Each time I will feel great, for a few hours. There are no words to express how saddened was by this discovery. I am not sure. There are many theories I have explored. I have black girl weight loss blogs much to lose, and it is no longer worth all the suffering I now blogss for sure I cannot avoid, only for a few hours of dancing on clouds and pondering the nature of a glass of water. I expect weed to always be a part of my dance culture.
I will terribly miss the feeling of camaraderie that comes from passing a joint in a circle of people, laughing and conversing. And that is the real issue. Because everybody knows that dancing on clouds alone is boring! Weed is the MSG of music culture. This is where weed and carbs are similar for me. Now that I will be entering the social and party world sans drugs of any kind, I expect that Black girl weight loss blogs will experience a transition period.
Detox at this level black girl weight loss blogs deep and painful. It is an acknowledgement of where I used crutches and ridding myself of them. It means being willing to make massive changes in my life and making choices that are in alignment with my new values. It means giving up some things, while always focusing the mind on the goal.
My goal is to lose pounds. Run my own business. Become a master of my craft. These are gargantuan dreams. And if weed must die on the altar in order to have it. Today we begin with the tracking of my weight. Today Black girl weight loss blogs weigh in at pounds. Great, I have lost roughly 10 pounds a year. At that rate it would take 12 years bkack reach my wejght And what is my goal?
Target weight: pounds. And not in 12 years, but 18 bllgs. I must lose pounds. For a total weigh loss of: pounds! OK maybe a little BS, but only if it fits in with my lifestyle change. I am going hard-core. The pain of not lss action has finally superseded the perceived pain of taking action. I have to give up Mexican food, marijuana, wheat, sugar in all its forms, dairy, grains and then exercise till I am a sweating sore mess everyday.
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